ASS CRACK BANDIT!
#this is jeff winger #this scene made me cry in the shower #this scene made me cry like no other show has ever made me cry #this scene was jeff stripped of all his artifice and sarcasm and defense mechanisms #this was jeff exposed right down to his core #this is what jeff hides from people #just how much he cares and needs and wants to be loved #and how terrified he is of never getting that love #or of losing it when he does get it #for jeff caring is quantifiable: 17 cards and 1 girl who asked after him #and now it’s 6 people that he will do anything for #and a box full of greendale stuff for when they all finally graduate #jeff fucking winger made me cry and all i got was this lousy heartache
WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FEEL THESE THINGS?? MY EMOTIONS. MY EMOTIONS.
no but having said that the cry-in-the-shower part of this sequence for me is the part where this isn’t the only example jeff has by a long, long shot, it’s just the one that left a physical scar. this isn’t the time in high school he paid someone to spread the rumor that he’d been in a car accident just to see how people would react. it’s not the time in college he dumped a girl he genuinely loved the first time she said ‘i love you,’ back to him, because he wanted to see if she really meant it, if it would really hurt her to lose him. it’s not every sex, suicide, or drug abuse hotline he’s ever called just to hear someone say it — that he’s desirable, that he’s worthy, that someone believes in him and cares that he make it through. and it’s not all the other times either, the times he tested people to their breaking points. the times he pushed people away because he needed to know they wouldn’t let him and they did, they did let him, and he knew, every time, that they were right to.
no, this isn’t any of those times — jeff could have brought up any of them, but it’s this one he mentions, this one he draws up, because this is the one that left a physical scar. because even now, a grown man with a family he chose, finally saying his piece to the father whose leaving he’s been trying to heal from his whole life, this is jeff winger: the guy who thinks he has to prove it. the guy who says, here is the physical wound on my body that marks the way you cut into me, the way you scarred me, the way you hurt me; i know it wouldn’t mean anything to you otherwise. fucking hell, i love this show.
“When I was growing up, it was just me and my mom, I dind’t have much of a family. That is until I met you guys. So excuse me if I’m not willing to give up the place where we became a family.”